Random Thoughts of the Day: June 11th 2019

Isn't it amazing how the world just turns so fast. All these things happen at once, all these big things on the planet, in the solar system, entire galaxies get destroyed. Scale is just such an amazing, baffling thing. The way in which we view our lives is based on us, obviously, but when we start to think about the rest of the universe, how so many things happen in one instant, with such large consequences. I don't know. I guess it makes me wonder about my importance? Or my impact, or something like that. It's the age old question of what is the meaning of life. Guess it's a bit of depression and stuff that's hitting me. Brings me to another thing. I feel like people doing things that are unsafe to themselves shouldn't be encouraged, but should instead be talked about, and if someone is doing it, they should be helped. But at the end of it all, it's their lives, and as much as others do to help or change their minds, it's up to them. Anyways, lots of things, but just a thing that's been on my mind. If someone uses drugs, or hurts themselves, etc, they should be helped, but if it's what they want to do, it's what they want to do. I don't know. I hurt myself sometimes, and I have a lot at certain points in my life. And people helped me. I went to the hospital, I started taking medication, I had nights when I wanted to die, where I would sit in the bathroom crying with a knife and a lighter in my hand and a bottle of whiskey next to me. Sort of the stereotypical depressed person sort of thing. But it happened. And I'm not happy about it or anything, and I feel better and all that. But I guess sometimes I still feel like hurting myself to help with relieving myself. I know it doesn't really help, but also it does. It feels like something important to care about. Which in this huge universe with so many things happening, it's sometimes nice to have something important of my own to think about.